I chose not to go to the second day of the galia tonight because to be quite honest, I really didn’t want a repeat of last night with the obnoxious lady who felt she was perfectly justified in judging me and offering her opinion on my dress and relationship with my culture whilst barely knowing me. Annnd to be perfectly honest, I was upset and the conversation had made me feel even more out of place that evening. Tonight, I have spent my evening watching CSI and Hustle whilst chatting with friends and tweeting away. I do feel a little like I have retreated instead of saving-face and holding my own but I felt like I needed some ‘me’ time and it was nice to have an empty house for once.
Now this blog post is continued from the last because there has been a development. My mum came back from the galia (literally like 10 minutes ago) and she said that the lady from last night was asking for me as she wanted to apologise for what she has said as I seemed upset. This has completely taken me by surprise and something which I really wasn’t expecting at all. Perhaps I judged her too? Either way, I am actually looking forward to seeing her next to continue our conversation and to find out what she thinks about well cultural traitor vs. hybridity. I feel like I will be able to have that conversation with less of a defensive wall considering that she has apologised. Without that apology I know for a fact that I would have been rather defensive and perhaps abruptly even rudely so.
This small turn of events and indeed thoughts has got me thinking as to how quick we are to make a judgement about a situation or even someone without knowing the whole story or all of the facts. I was upset at how I was judged by someone who barely knew me when to be perfectly honest, I had done the same to her. What I should have done is taken the time to ask in polite conversation as to why she thought what she did but instead I merely defended my position of saying that I had two cultures and not just one whilst remaining in an offended state which immediately put me at a disadvantage of being able to further the conversation in a constructive way.
Moral of the story? Well, that’s easy… Treat other people how you yourself want to be treated. In this case, I don’t want to be judged; therefore I have no room to be judging others. These assertions are so simply and yet sometimes so easy to forget. I did forget and it’s little events like this that make us realise the error of our ways and indeed provide us with new ways to strike up conversations whilst walking through the minefield of upset and offensiveness and making our way to the other side unscathed and actually richer through intellectual debate and discussion.