A few weeks ago I watched a lovely and heart-warming movie and I kind of feel compelled to write a blog post on it. The movie was Nina’s Heavenly Delights. It’s a beautiful movie and one that I would definitely recommend. In a nutshell, it’s Bollywood meets Scotland in terms first and second generation Scottish Asians, tradition and curry competitions. It’s a brilliant melting pot of the West meets the East in a lovely package infused with humour, love, homosexuality and cultural politics.
I was particularly touched by this movie in the same way that I was touched by I Can’t Think Straight by Shamim Sarif and it’s basically because movies like these give me hope. They give me hope that maybe one day we really can get to a point where we no longer have to hide who we are in terms of our sexuality, in terms of the clothes we want to wear and those are prominent themes that I’ve been experiencing a lot recently. I really want a community and a sense of being where I don’t have to hide who I am from certain people in my world, for fear of judgement and negative reactions. I want a world where my children can grow up where they aren’t afraid to be whoever the heck they want to be and where they’re not afraid to love who they want to love and openly too (if they want to). I want them to grow up in a world where people give more of a damn about who you are as a person and the goodness you have instead of judging you and your worth on superficial and quite frankly irrelevant things that really in the grand scheme of things don’t really matter. That’s what I want and yes, I am fully aware of how optimistic it may seem but Ghandi said:
‘Be the change you want to see the world.’
So of course, the change has to start with addressing my own attitudes and perceptions.
Nina’s Heavenly Delights got me thinking about love and where I would place myself within it. I don’t know what I think about the whole soul mate concept and actually whether it exists. I mean, it could exist in a romantic way or it could be a purely plutonic friendship. I don’t know. I think that maybe in different stages of our lives we could fall in love and indeed out of love with different people. So when you’re younger you may think that you want to spend your life with someone and that’s cool if it works out but sometimes it doesn’t and they it doesn’t work for a myriad of reasons and then can go on to fall in love with someone else. It could be that we are capable of falling in love more than once and that actually we still only have one soul mate. I may not know the answer but what I do know is that it is an interesting idea albeit a much romanticised one. I know that I have had a somewhat interesting relationship with the whole notion of love and if I’m being perfectly honest, lust too.
In the past I’ve had a combination of the right person, at the right place at the right time but never all at once. Although it hasn’t happened for me yet Nina’s Heavenly Delights has made me realise once again that actually there really can be the right person, at the right place and even at the right time. I look forward to the day when that happens with me. I appreciate how incredibly clichéd, romanticised and most definitely cheesy it sounds but I honestly think that it can happen and does happen all the time around the world.
A year ago, I was with the right person in an incredible place, maybe not the right time as it was merely a brief romance but if truth be told, that was the closest I ever came to getting all three by simply just having the right person. I don’t know. Maybe I just got carried away with the romanticism of it all? After all, they do say that Paris is the romantic capital of the world.
A few months before this encounter, I was in a relationship where all three of the main things were just not present at all. Everything was just waaay off. I never wanted to be that person who had a string of relationships to find the right person but actually I’ve found that whilst I may have had some relationships, I shouldn’t look at it in a negative way because ultimately there are things that I have learnt from each experience. I have become the person who I am today through all my experiences in life and indeed through my experience of my first proper relationship even if it may have been a negative one.
In short, this movie has reminded me that actually I’m really not interested in flings or short time things because it’s not who I am. I want to find that special someone that I can envision spending my life with. Over the past few weeks, particularly around the discussion of my mental health, I’ve come to the conclusion that in order for those three fundamental aspects to happen I need to be in the right place mentally. How could I possibly think about being in a relationship with someone when I don’t feel comfortable with my own mental health at the moment? I think the thing that worries me the most us that if I was to get into a relationship now or in the near future I wouldn’t feel comfortable as id be relying on that person more so than I should or indeed normally would.
You know, I really do love it when things I come across get me thinking deeply. It really is the making of something great! Although, I can’t help but think that other people perhaps don’t think of things so deeply… I think that’s the beauty of them though. It’s the beauty of perspective and the ability to see things in your own way and have your own spin on it. You know, like have your own ideas, your own opinions and indeed individuality. The director may have wanted you to think a certain way or feel a certain way but sometimes we take things in our own way too. I think that’s the beauty of creative expression. The audience are comprised of individuals with their own lives, experiences and thoughts and so we all have our unique take on things.
Nina’s Heavenly Delights is a beautiful movie. Watch it and let me know what you think. 🙂