‘It is better to have loved…’

‘It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.’

I have no idea who said that but usually when people make reference to it it’s often to disagree with the statement. I can’t help but feel that those who wish for love to have never happened to them because they feel it hurts too much may not have been in love in the first place. I’m talking about that crazy uncontrollable it-makes-no-sense type of love. The type where no matter how far apart you may be physically or how much time may have lapsed since you last saw one another you just know that you have a place in each others’ heart. Dare I use the term soul mates? Yeah, I’m doing it. In fact, I just did. I’m a firm believer in soul mates. I think they can come in many forms and not just of the romantic kind; a friend can be a soul mate for example but so too can your lover. Maybe you can have multiple soul mates too? Perhaps you have a soul mate for different times of your life? I don’t know. What I do know is that human interactions and and relationships are so vastly different and all encompassing it’s really not a one-size-fits-all kind of view in the slightest.

Moving swiftly back… Don’t get me wrong, it hurts like hell when you can’t be with that special person or people in your life but I’m trying to learn to place a little more faith (you’d think as a religious person I’d have that down!) in fate and destiny. Now I know that sounds a bit hokey to some people but it’s just the way it is sometimes (a lot of the time – about fate and destiny being a thing). One of my nearest and dearest a few days ago during a conversation about love and relationships said that some things are truly meant to happen and you simply cannot put a time frame or other restrictions on it. The whole idea of ‘if it’s meant to be it will be’ but at the same time still enjoying relationships in the here and now. That was certainly an eye-opener as I’d never considered that before.

I’m not really sure what the point of this post was meant to be… I’d just finished watching ‘The Guest House’ when I wrote this initially and I suppose I just felt inspired to write. Oh by the way, the said nearest and dearest went on to tell me about how her parents met and it was one of those ‘aww’ heart melt moments. Seriously. Boy meets girl. They like each other. Girl doesn’t think they’ll happen. Woman goes to college, gets married, has a kid then gets divorced. Goes to a friends wedding and the man finally has the courage to ask her out and then get married and have a kid. Decades later they’re loving life and still very much in love.

Oh let me tell you another story… So boy sees boy on a social networking site and asks to connect because he thinks he’s cute. They hit it off and start talking on a near daily basis. They decide to go on holiday with their sisters just incase it didn’t work out but they end up having an amazing time. There’s one catch though, one lives in America and the other in the UK. Fast forward a few years and lots of money and hours spent flying back and forth from one another during the holidays one of them comes to the UK and these wonderfully adorable men get married.

How’s that for a movie romance huh? These are the sort of fabulous people and heart melting stories I have around me in my life and my God does it act as a brilliant pick-me-up when I’m feeling sorry for myself about my own love situation. There’s people all around us doing the whole romantic movie type love thing and it’s their reality. I don’t accept it anymore when people say ‘that only happens in movies’ because these stories are people’s lived experiences.

What I’m trying to say is that I should better at living in the moment and enjoying experiences in the here and now while understanding that fate and destiny is always gonna be working in the background. (Sorry to the friend I mentioned earlier as these are practically here words which I’ve rephrased. :P) Going down the same line, she then went on to say about trying to enjoy all relationships and there’s a lot of truth in that.

I’m gonna end with, live in the moment, enjoy and cherish all human interactions and relationships but also be sure to leave a little room in your consciousness for fate and destiny.

What are your thoughts on love, destiny and fate? Are you a believer in soul mates? I’m curious to get other perspectives as always.

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